No One Knows the Pain I Feel
by Imaru Mi Amore
Summary: To have a purpose in life is what every man wants. Itachi finds that purpose in Sasuke. Uchihacest yaoi..
1. The First

After all the major emotion I felt after I read about Itachi's life in the manga(poor baby!), I felt compelled to write this. This is my first angsty fanfic, to add to the many angsty ItaSasu fics on this site already. It will most likely have yaoi and it actually goes along with the storyline of the show(SURPRISE! SURPRISE!)

**Warning:** Incest, Uchihacest(it's the same thing dumbbutts!) yaoi in later chapters, NOT AU!,whatever else…

**Disclaimer:** I agree with (insert name of that girl's deviant art pic I looked at) about how Masashi's been reading some ItaSasu yaoi fanfics…And people wonder why I pair them together! It's shit like that!! Oh and when he said he had a girlfriend I was likw 'WTF? Itachi's not straight!' and 'Isn't that incest since they're in the same clan...O.O..' but I guess its ok since she's dead(his fangirls would kill and/or hate her if she was alive)

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_No One Knows the Pain I Feel_

_To have a purpose, a meaning for living is every man's desire. To feel useless and to lack a purpose in life is one of the greatest pains to endure. Feeling unwanted and hated by the people you care about, the people you protect most is an even worse one._

Itachi had been nothing but a pawn all his life. Just a sacrificial piece to be played and toyed with by his family, his village. He wanted to live a shinobi's life but not in such a dishonorable and secretive way. His fate was inescapable though. That horrible decision he had to make so many years ago. He wanted to prevent war and keep the lives of his fellow clansmen but that seemed impossible. He chose the wisest, yet most heart wrenching, choice. Though through the death of his emotions, he still couldn't bring himself to kill his little brother the only person he really cared about.

Through the years he felt himself slowly sink into depression and despair. After sacrificing so much for a village that shunned him and a little brother that hated him, he felt a flaw in his plan. The return of these emotions had never been contemplated and now he was paying the price. He had lost all hope in his miserable life, the only thing keeping him going was the prospect of finding the Bijuu. But even that pursuit seemed empty. He had lost his purpose in life.

He needed a reason to live, someone who cared for him, needed him. Someone who would be lost without him. That's when he came to the conclusion to bring back his light, his love. He was going to get Sasuke.

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Just a short beginning. I won't continue if people don't like it. R&R Pwetty Pwease!!


	2. The Second

How he was to go about this seemingly impossible task, Itachi was unsure. The last time he had even seen his angel was 5 years ago, the night he had murdered his entire clan. He never could forget that innocent face contorted in fear, sorrow, rage. He had looked so damn pitiful and Itachi had almost considered taking the boy with him. But he knew nothing good would come from them being together. He had done something unforgivable. Too many lives had he taken. Too many lives had he ruined. How could he possibly atone for such horrible sins? How could Sasuke ever forgive him?

Itachi glanced back behind him. He had ditched his partner and hurried on ahead and hoped to God the shark hadn't followed. He didn't need a whiny henchman complaining about them not following Pain's orders tagging along. He needed... silence. He needed to plan. How was he to approach Sasuke? Was he to talk to him and try to convince him to come? Or just take him? Were they to even leave Konoha? Or stay in the Uchiha district? Itachi hadn't considered the finite details in his initial rush to Konoha. But now here they were. Discouragement washing over him with every question and concern.

All he could think about was that... pull... that _yearning _for his younger sibling. It was somewhat of a relief to feel something other than regret, even if it was desperation. But, his longing for the younger Uchiha went far deeper than just a physical feeling. He wanted to own and be owned. He wanted to be connected in mind, body, and soul. He craved these bonds with another being that he had lacked his entire life. And he'd be damned if he didn't get what he wanted. This one thing that he wanted for himself.

Itachi sighed, hoping to relieve some of his stress as he sprinted through the forest toward his birthplace. He swallowed. He _hated_ that place. It was the reason why he was even in this horrible situation. He was young though when he made the decision to help the damned village. He... was foolish. He had known the consequences of course, but hadn't thought them through. He had no choice, what with the threats the council had been dishing out. He gritted his teeth. He despised Konoha and all of its inhabitants. It was full of ungrateful sons of bitches who spent thier lives protecting and defending a village that was held together by deceit. True there were some genuine and honest people in the village. But the majority of the people who governed Konoha were merely self serving bastards.

He landed in a tree looking upon the familair gates of his former home. He decided to plan while he waited for an oppurtunity to slip into Konohagakure. He could sense the gatekeepers' chakra and didn't want to make an unnecessary loud entrance. He had no intention to fight, although deep down he knew it was unavoidable. He had only come to take what was rightfully his.

**Ummm... excuse the length. And the 8 month wait. ^^; I have no idea where to take this. If you guys have any suggestion on how you would like this story to go down, I will honestly consider it! :D Reviews are always appreciated! :3 **

**Much love! **

**Imaru~**

**Edit 7/28/09: I'm sorry I forgot about birthdays! XD Happy Birthday to Sasuke on July 23rd and Happy Birthday to me on July 11th! :D Can you believe it?! Sasuke's 17! :O I know?! He's getting too old for me... Here's to 17 years of depression and 14 years of psychotic madness! :D Cheers!**


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